Hand Held Noodle Cutter

... is a difficult world ... that intense life

today I would like to strike a blow for all those engaged in anxious and depressed due to the fact that girls have of their male friends.

now I understand you and compassion, good and innocent victims of bad faith by helplessly to the ballet of seduction that takes place among your companions and friends of the heart. I understand and sympathize with suspicion and envy towards those who cherish omnipresent and all-seeing individuals who are more talented, more honest and more understanding of you.

I want to say, unfortunate boyfriends, I know what you are trying.

friends - males-are an attack on married life but also are fictional characters but real.

they do not exist, are nothing but the projection of its sexual fantasies and those of your women and self-centered monomaniac.

applying un'irreprensibile policy advice well chosen, good humor and modesty, friends of the heart are imagined bin laden feeling.

therefore enjoined the few surviving naive still believe in fidelity and monogamy to wake up and gallop.

guys open your eyes! this friendship not to be done.

the time of the carousel are beautiful and past: while you gag with laughter in your calimero Girl, most likely, is solace with his best friend.

and is said to be in a bed.

indigestible also host the curtain in the closet belongs to prehistoric times, it is much easier than the betrayal to happen before your eyes and disguise.

is good to specify one thing: try to go beyond the muzzle of the shotgun that we keep under the bed as a precaution, and remember that infidelity is not necessarily physical infidelity. the particular case of the imaginary friends of the heart purely sexual element is indeed a factor side and believe me, there will come a time where you want between your woman and her boyfriend intrusive exists only attraction. there freely after a trumpet sound rather than syrup in many different ways for years and years to come.

unfortunately is not the antagonism on the horizontal plane of the surface to be trivial copula but on much more rough and irregular, the mind of your woman who does not know and do not want to miss this guy who is voted in by you head to toe, with all that passes in between.

know that friends of the heart do not exist.

you suspicious boyfriends, you are absolutely right.

if a man and a woman engage in a report including the hello how are you, there is something behind. or if it is still there, and soon there will more often than not take on the appearance of an engagement.

let pray to find a male friend is one of the unresolved challenges of the female gender.

desire that I convey to genie and / or the proverbial shooting star.

baby jesus do become mothers, fathers, sisters and me to find a male friend with whom to establish a healthy relationship and asexual.

the point is this: the imaginary friends know the content of the prayers of women and dress up as lust incarnate, like the archangel Gabriel. and women, who are expected to fall as we all alicenelpaesedellemeraviglie cooked pears.

now: since I started this crusade hermeneutics today I have to get to grips with the age-old question of friendship between the sexes, are years that I think.

based on statistical projections I do understand that the imaginary friend of the heart is a little 'how to practice the profession and we will make available to the community and receiving services by dispensing fees rather salati.e also goes without saying that like all the professions, the friendship of the heart is an imaginary lobby almost completely male.

supply on the market is one to ten: for every ten males who offer themselves as best friends is a woman who mysteriously self-imposed exile and the circle of friends and friendship to conquer the other half of the sky.

in this clash of opposing worlds, and reiterate opposites, good faith is a strategy of self-defense, an excuse and a certain point on a real joke.

who want it to be really interested in the physiological problems of a woman when another woman is not aware of what it means to suffer from abdominal cramps in those days ? who could never come to mind to go shopping together? who would submit to endless sessions of hairdressing, hydrotherapy, aromatherapy, manicure, pedicure, Thai massage, and stalking, jealous, hysterical breakdowns and neuropsychiatric pure and simple self-denial? probably just my mother and a few other pious women.

therefore, to bend that far, the good faith of these little men should be equal to that of the wolf of Little Red Riding Hood.

I are an example of more than eloquent.

being always the rain man of the situation - read: black sheep with autism and asociality trends - the fact of having the male best friend I've always liked a lot.

yes: I am part of that 10% of women who have exiled himself from girlfriends to chase the white rabbit, continuing with the metaphor of Alice in Wonderland. my experiences are fairly colorful and disastrous, as I still do not feel like a heart to tell here because in a few cases have been the most harrowing of a divorce and I still have not stopped mourning close the loss of some fantastic examples of best friend.

confirming the fact that this story of male best friend is an urban legend that I found the samples proved to all of the criminals.

confirming the fact that I am stumbling in flamingos alice whenever we are upset, more evil than before.

umpteenth manifestation of bad faith in the typical situation dell'elargizione advice that precipitate your potential seducers and ammaliatorio to absolute zero (Enrique listen to me, this is not your own bum, you pretty useless for him, is a jerk. and the next day you discover that the man that you have not worthy of any attention is madly in love with you), I learned that the male friend is a rhetorical and imaginary, and that I am a woman unable to admit the power of testosterone but also unable to resist the lure male milder.

or me, girls are the average woman. is a defeat but it is so heavy and I admit with sportsmanship.

my adventures male friendships have ended and then I went back to pink and reassuring world of girlfriends female: beautiful, brave, with a sense of humor and all the attributes necessary as the patience of Job (and not to support nightly conversations lasting several hours), the sight of a falcon (to identify the prey before he individuals you), the ear of hate (For the hearing the heartbeat of this man before you, and to prevent disastrous consequences for your psyche and elsewhere, below), the foresight, wisdom, etc etc..

unfortunate that the timing is not my forte.

, so when I put a stone on the idea of \u200b\u200bfriendship between man and woman getting here on time as the death of a man, the little man par excellence to offer his unconditional friendship. the Little Man says, we could be good friends. and as the man of the mountain but he did not question above.

so we, me and Terence, we are friends, apparently.

I woman has long prepared for the worst, I am genuinely amazed at His words.

I do not think I would go on to play Aldo Moro and the Red Brigades with my best friend, but even with my worst enemy in reality. In short then there are things that best friends imagine but do not apply, at least not with you , while in the case of this little man here, the theory never existed, so to speak.

those things in particular, best friends, should not do it.

because, mannikin, I would say, best friends are the depositories of the little 'Platonic where we choose to still believe, are the custodians of the ideals of purity, innocence, and the partners only only of our dreams as children, lay confessors of our venial peccadilloes. what to do with a friend of the heart that does not even know what it means to idealize the verb and whose favorite sport is to create the most daring fantasies gym as quickly as possible?

where did she go to finish the poem of friendship? and for decentralization: where did it go the poetry of love?

heart of that friendship between man and woman is a chimera, we got a bit 'all at this point in our adult lives, but what is the next step?

love? mmm I guess we're on the high seas.

sex? small fire.

I can only imagine that every situation has its own interpretive key, and then await clarification on where it is seen that in my total desolation and darkness of my immense ignorance I also lost the patch.

White Lump Inside Cheek

Abandon all hope ye who enter

dear natalia (Aspesi)

I hope this letter reaches you in a moment peace and mysticism that you read it surrounded by greenery and calm of a Japanese garden because you will need a large dose of patience and optimism to see the conclusion.

first excuse me if I give you the "you and call you by name but, you know, having spent all the teens to read your book as a bible, you get into the family, say a little 'as a wise aunt . and as Auntie now I turn to you with the hope that your advice saved me time dall'esorcismo that girlfriends have decided to practice on myself to break free from evil and bad luck that arise in my body.

I know you Do you specialize in solving problems much more complex than mine and that is your strong cross-dressing pre-and post-andropause, late menarche, midlife crisis, swinging the terminal, eating disorders but please leave this for a moment exciting series and take care of me.

am a woman now in the south close to thirty, of medium build - we say ... -, good looks, a decent IQ, I cook, I like to travel, read a lot, I go to the cinema, are sociable and companionship and a time when I was young and lean, I think this sufficient to ensure a serene old age in the company of a serene old man to share kukident and padded slippers, the ones with the gray wool and a high neck. I know I am a woman old, I made the elementary nuns, and the hypothesis to spend my life in the company of some animal and spiteful bastard, and statistically less long-lived to me, a bit scared '. would make me much pleasure to have a husband fifteen cats, put it this way.

until last night I thought to learn something, men, myself. for the aforementioned reasons I have a good experience. risk-loving as they are not missing anything I've ever made so my resume to date includes: drug dealers, fighters on Sunday, brain damaged, disabled, inattentive, trauma, early retirees, aspiring porn actor, owners of micro and macro penises, amateur sex extreme aficionados of television for children, excited about the wedding. I believed that a bestiary rich enough to make me a woman as less prepared for the worst but apparently I was wrong.

in fact I still had to meet the man of the house, also said her husband caring. I know natalia you can help me, I know you receive many letters of impunity, happily married, you solace with another woman and not (in my case, for bringing this from a guy cornificare would not be so desperate ...) and even if you do not publish because it wisely punish them by refusing to disclose their filthy stories about your prestigious and curious rubrichetta on Friday, I know that you know, and you can help me.

I have a problem: I can not swallow the fact that one of these characters here, all slippers and outings, I have locked in her car for an hour and a half - exactly four to five twenty of morning, and unable to set foot outside physical assault by vehicle worth by his wife, who seemed to wander around and that, even as thin as a scoobiedoo was definitely ready to fight.

natalia me explain: I do not have one made for her lover, that's for sure. failing to keep a secret even under threat of death, the practice of wearing the proverbial glove, latex or even worse, the blonde wig in order to confuse the poor wife of a horned and not mine at all. it goes without saying that if in the middle of a burning confession of love 'adulterous wife's cell phone rings and I told him to meet her.

recitatomi hypothesize that the adage about the first few minutes of the faces of the angel who conceal evil spirits, is worth far more for him than for me, poor inflatable doll in his huge hands expert.

assumes also that he first referred to the saying, knows exactly how to tell a lie sound to his wife. (How do you want to believe that in years and years of marriage he has the cornificata only once and then with me, it would be a responsibility and an honor to be given up willingly ...). in fact it was not so; the nonchalance exhibited by me of before the total collapse of the desire of both rose in the second floor immediately in front of the panic that has seized. not I learned to do is draw a curtain on the ground - so a new house still has no furniture - find a comfortable position, that of the lotus, and comfort as I doth the rosary in their love story. I do not know whether it was an excess of zeal, a reminder of the commandments studied the catechism, or sheer stupidity that led me to inspire him to tell the lie to truciolones.

it for that alone and the fact that I have not left to die of heat in the gas chamber that is my house would also have avoided intombarmi in his car.

but it was not so: he has not shown the slightest pity for me.

prey to a panic attack which I happened to attend only the Sept. 19 relatives of the cathedral and in the person of sangennaro, once there he ordered the adulterous wife who was waiting out the scoobiedoo front door - "that car down here I've never seen" cried his eyes wide with terror - has meshed the reverse, was made two hundred yards uphill to the contrary and I was abandoned on a street in the dark me of entirely unknown on notice not to move for no reason at all until he returned.

I really believed not to be seen again.

rather saw my bloated corpse of a couple of days to be extracted from the scientific and wrapped in a traditional black bag, and I fell out of the pockets of the pants loose change that the jackals had not had time to prey on the car and exhaled the stench of my death by asphyxiation, which invariably I had done precede episodes of incontinence varied and substantial.

at that moment I realized I had hit bottom. since I had slept in the bed of my boyfriend - probably homosexual - not that I was in a situation so incredible.

natalia believe me when I say that I could not do anything, but really nothing to get me out of that ' impasse. I think your all, and all were solved and always in a catastrophic scenario.

out of the car and face the darkness of the alley would have meant:

a) truciolones trip over and risk being beaten and bruised, maybe even from him, if he believed that contribute to the bat would have brought us closer to his wife or even if slight, in a fit of love, he wanted to protect it from my weak attempts at self-defense

b) lose and maybe be invested the train that goes there.

turn on the car and could go away:

a) be a problem because I did not know where I was under me and opened the brink of a descent 2 meters wide and a half, with car parking on the left, with a gradient of 80% then I discovered that only end in a concrete wall

b) set a precedent for the review ' adulterous wife in that case, showing a courage of a lion, he had demanded the return of keys

stay in the car would help:

a) allow all of the numerous neighborhood and assumed that I was a whore and / or thief

b) facilitate the robbery of any of the toxic and presumably illegally staying on the deck behind the left corner

c) sure death by asphyxiation and heat since the terror had led me to block any orifice presented the sports car

I could not help but wake up the girlfriends and beg to keep me company, something for which there Member will never be grateful enough for them, the angels of heaven, after giving me the most beautiful bracelet of Powerpuff that there is in circulation, I have also taken on the phone for an hour preparing, and another between a curse, survival strategies that in the light of what has happened to me Saturday (natalia you would refer to my previous post about it) allow me to present to draw the preliminary drafts of the first manual of survival post-feminist in the south metro Italy.

a prayer for my wonderful girlfriends.

in those circumstances you will understand the relief to see him finally get back to me free (and beautiful, beautiful!) In the light of dawn.

certainly seemed strange not to have heard his wife's car away, but you know, in these cases, the pressure rises and I lose a bit 'hearing.

less evil that has been dispelled those doubts my somewhat naive . with the innocence of my child's eating the cheese in the pasta has informed me that I had never seen and that these one hundred and twenty minutes in which I begged anyone and anything nonmorire, she had just passed , at home, at pararle phone.

then asked me if everything was fine. I said yes, I am the Bionic Woman and obscured by layers of fat there is a whole stainless steel structure that isolates me from injury, so to speak. I also stated that arrived two year warranty and can be sent to the sender at any time. this thing has a lot of fun. as all my men, he kills himself with laughter in my company. a. called the syndrome of the clown, and I do not feel up to disagree: we are women destined to suffer with a smile, and there is little to be done.

when we got to him I could only ask for a glass of water before collapsing to the ground and fix the vacuum as a catatonic.

then I assured her that although she is now threatening to file for divorce, will return. Relationship advice and down, so the heart is always traded in the garage.

man I was really wiped out, too bad that half an hour later found a way, that way he does quite well also, to revive.

was short but intense natalia.

within an hour we were back in the car and him playing in those excesses of egomania that I have learned to recognize and love, I wondered if the glasses donassero the sun, because he was not entirely convinced. was also concerned that I knew too much about him, for sure, will think I am just waiting for it disappears and then stalk him and find a rabbit boiling in a pot at home.

I reassured him that he never, ever see me again or hear my voice but it has suffered, let me hasten to note that in any case, I've never called (obviously Saturday and Sunday should be dropped his head on the floor ... "The post-traumatic amnesia may occur immediately after the awakening of a head injury with loss of consciousness. The post-traumatic amnesia is characterized two types of symptoms: disorientation and confabulation "by: http://www.neuropsy.it/patologie/traumi/09.html ) and that on Friday there is a good situation there on the beach, why not spend a lot of LEI does not know who I am.

impunity and reckless, cowardly, vain, unpunished and to forgive adultery, but he asked me if I wanted a croissant.

have access disdainfully a cigarette while I paraded before the eyes of the neighborhood gossip, the woman who, coming to my house, would shortly thereafter reported to my family saw me in the company of a stranger (beautiful) in Bermuda T-shirts and sports.

natalia now tell me: is there a limit to human misery or are we really destined to suffer for eternity in heaven?

not because I say that the Garden of Eden I do not care, I do not like fruit and mosquitoes annoy me, and that is enough for me a man who can be true to himself and not to behave just as worse than he does for, say, a couple of months in a row.

hopeful that you will not baskets the testimony of real life, I salute you affectionately and concedimelo: change the rims of his glasses and the color, you get older.

Milena-velba Singleparty

fat lady vs truciolones

"... a long time it was announced the project Indiana Jones 4 , whose output and 'scheduled for May 22 2008 ..."

wonder if George (Lucas) and Steven (Spielberg) intend to produce a fifth.

I have a couple of embassies for them.

I could write a letter and tell him what has happened to me Saturday night for instance, when I had to make me swim to reach the mainland and also my car and be able to return to home. was a 'fantastic experience and I would not go forgotten, but since I will not have sons or grandsons in which stories, and underground side issue for months now that accompanies anything happen to me, it's just that someone else take care of do it for me.

first: Deo gratias for letting me come Monday. there were times during this long and grueling weekend in which I thought I would be abandoning this world. the interesting thing is that the cases were different and diverse but all equally plausible.

not know where to start to recap, but I'll try to make a list.

in order:

dehydration / asphyxiation hot

drowning

anxiety

sentimental disappointment / erotic

is clear that a man got to do. but this time, curiously, even the fury of the elements.

that the two things are connected? that we are all part of a single apocalypse?

then. after the recent misfortunes of which is discussed above, I decided to retrieve the horn that I bought a year and a half ago in very difficult times, and reattach the ear. After careful analysis we have girlfriends and I decided that was the removal of that in January to cause the slight drop in the percentage curve of my bad luck saline.

the horn still hangs from my left lobe. seemed to work early, in fact I was able to repair the broken heel, and above all, wonder of wonders, correct phone number and date with the sandman caseruoppolo.

emotion after another!

I rubbed and rubbed my horn until the post-atomic rotondadiaz scenario with background singing from the cliffs overlooking the stadium and all around a shower of empty beer bottles and radioactive carcasses of hoes, he, himself, admitted that he had fallen in love with me. it was a little 'how to hear the bells of doomsday for a Jehovah's Witness: I thought I had finally granted me my sins, and finally abandoned this vale of tears.

because let's face it, the cynicism is not really my forte and never, even for a moment, I suggested that he was taking me around. then I also wanted to appreciate the fact that he was carrying out this big scene for four hours, because it was nearly five, and I gave the benefit of the trust.

now, I overlook the fact that at some point in a moment of extreme romanticism is a boat slip and fall into ruin on one side and then slamming his head against a pole some ten minutes later, I confess that it was an unforgettable night and dawn just as exciting.

the other hand are still seven months, just waiting that the first idiot to bring me to watch the stars whispering sweet words to the ear, it goes without saying that what happened was immediately taken to the earliest of the league "good times 2007" .

ah yes he has a lot of good quality, and made to resemble somewhat dangerous to mr. requirement.

g. he called and we like to remember as Terence.

yes because today is already good composing the obituary. was short but intense girls. so short that he did not find even the time to tell me who's girlfriend.

Let me explain. not that I do not know, I know, these eyes had already witnessed the fatal scene of his pairing with the most beautiful woman in the world, but not him: he knew that I knew and expertly glissando on the subject simple, with eyes troooooppo enigmatic and sexy as he drove in the light of dawn, that "should fix things."

the only reaction he got from me was a dead silence and a forced and noisy swallowing, although my throat had dried up as if I had rubbed with a rasp.

then I came home at seven thirty in the morning thinking I would not see him ever again and that you were also already regretting that he had spent the night with me and my several layers of cells rather than with his beautiful, skinny woman with which he was to replace something.

and yet by dint of the horn maniarmi he became affected and also to review. that a good time. pursuits in the bathroom, stolen kisses, the looks cross, there was more than a script to the drama Wednesday night, I was absolutely beaming.

especially when then gave me an appointment at dawn, after humbly asking me to wait for the final set of local and then was never presented.

a good time too. let's say the beginning of the end, when you capture that thrill and you know that no mortal will head to the horn that gust of misfortune began to blow on your side.

yes it was the beginning of the end but I still I had not realized.

and so after spending a day in the gasping heat now as I think half of humanity, refusing even to take out the sun on my terrace for the occasion had become so assisting in the Gobi desert fading irreversible enviable of my tan, I awaited the arrival of m then prepare to meet terence scenario gaiuola exotic and romantic. it is clear that I had already forgiven him for letting me walk the night before. there is no history of rhetoric after the excellent performance just two nights before that is what you want to stay awake until six o'clock waiting for your call. nothing, really nothing. In fact, when I woke up Saturday I was happier than ever, and flattered by his complaints because of my inaction phone, I clearly tried to reach him. it does not matter if tens of hours I only communicated with his answering machine. that was just a bit ' But so worried I would see him in the evening.

m. I was deserted due to force majeure and the party on the island are gone and only jump rastiki.

was very exciting to wait an hour and three quarters to board and be able to do so only after risking death by beating and shoving, having competed with dogs and dog owners for access to the boat and having Finally the corrupt caronte modest sum of nine euros. then thank goodness we got there. good party. no no, just good party. on land there were 200 people waiting to board worse the terminally ill waiting for the train to Lourdes and the island of hope percent who are not even fun too. I jump and we immediately placed upstairs to find her friend Terence and we knew for sure would have been at the party, he, well, I had also given an appointment to see us there the night before, and I said we have to I trust him blindly, and in short, from there on we have not seen anybody.

I at that point I started to worry.

me before the eyes facing catastrophic scenarios of traffic accidents, armed robbery, assault, murder, fights in which he appeared as an actor and one main pour in the ground as patrickswayze ghost to throw the blood on the sidewalk away from my loving care and above all from his cell phone for the occasion had been stolen / destroyed / tampered with by fools . this was the one and only reason I gave the stubbornness of his office and that prompted me to send him a message in which I confessed my panic and begged him to give me a sign of life before - but that I had the foresight not to write - I am addressing and not to call police.

him I have never answered and was curled up with stomach anxiety I took the bull by the horns and I took care to inform his companions in misfortune that I was leaving in search of Terence in that Puteoli.

them, bored beyond imagination, I am happy to have followed the boat to the dock. Needless to say, was to get worse the picture with a lot of intermediate steps, card clothing, tekken, dark passageways and precipices. to resent the whip I would feel very Indian, but unfortunately I only had a stomach Magone heavy as a watermelon.

so it was very nice and exciting to witness the landing of the first castaways that strong of their underpants and bras market we have announced, handing me a can of olives diligently, that the boat would never come back to pick us because disqualification of the harbor and got shit that suit us and our precious belongings in there and leave for the mainland by force of arms and even as early as possible, since there are already those who boasted to escape the bin.

the moment of panic that preceded the launch of the ballast at sea in my people, to jump and rastiki, a man approached me and asked me very politely if I had stolen money from the shoes.

I have looked distraught, I thought about how to save my boots for two hundred euro. was a torture to see them disappear in the dark guesses of the bin but I had no escape; better brine sea water polluted and full of naphtha posillipo. I feared for a moment that never see them again, a little 'as the master of laika when she left for space, but I abandoned them for their own good.

the best dress I was wearing little I care, moreover, the alternative was stripped stark naked and make a spectacle of myself and I thought that although believed to perish amid the waves of my person, however, deserved to be made in dignity and therefore with the clothes on him.

not go into details but the crossing was normal, except that I had to help a guy to climb on the rocks, I who am as agile as a sloth, attacked him with the suit and use rastiki survivor swore that the Hindu pantheon in reverse order.

thank goodness we have not even had time to curse in full because it immediately got the security guard chased us, ordered him to climb over the wall and take up the way for our one hundred and fifty steps and several tens of meters uphill that separated us from the vehicle.

we should not have made him very sad, despite living in conditions rather pitiful.

while Terence no news.

luckily after another twenty hours of agony and a day spent in widowhood closer - for the occasion wearing a black put - it all worked out for the best.

determined to track him down I picked up the girlfriends and I went to the places he regularly attends and who is in the midst of the impasse which was voluntarily slipping knowing that I would never ever find parking? him for a walk in the company of his girlfriend of that key.

short, it was just like seeing the ghost of Patrick Woopy enter the body of the meeting took place but also effect the paranormal as well. especially since his girlfriend is white as a sheet, but also as beautiful as mishaburton and this makes it somewhat unreal.

even that was a nice moment when I thought that I would not have seen the light of this Monday. move to the anxiety utter desolation without interruption would undermine even the heart of Varenna and I still do not own heart rate monitors. But she greeted me eh! mica has pretended not to like you expect from a master of sentimental fraud, no: he is suffering from stage fright, he lowered his head, left for a moment that the keychain would walk with her legs and whispered a hello baritone that I have not even seen through the wall of sound produced by the blood that I went up to the brain, but he clearly understood my compagnella a. for the occasion was a guest of my fairy carriage. in the sense of fairy cursed the subject of evil eye / invoice.

I will never cease to thank you for that cigarette I lit and stuck in his mouth, in the absence of other things I would have only the exhaust pipe of 106.

I spent the remaining two hours a show of good humor as fictitious as soon as I set foot in the room, the same course in which they were Terence and truciolones, the guy at the bar offered a round of rum to me and all my friends. from what I have deduced that the beautiful and stupid to use puteca home in this place and brought women and a lover without the slightest shame.

on the other hand he did not appear to need anything else. he just wants a job, a girlfriend and a mistress, I wrote it this morning in the message of apology that he arrived on time as the fines of the City of Naples to the door of the house pic. 's sorry to have resulted in abject but now I have a choice, he said, as long as the tell my opinion on the shirt she was wearing last night. This said, on several occasions, but has said.

I think Terence is a vile and vain, but I told him when neither of useless phone calls that I did. rather I said that has nothing to worry about, I passed the four tests of the fire unscathed and are now the bionic woman.

but my heart? I left the exchange in the garage.